Why don’t I get a reply?

Sep 2, 2018 | Common Issues | 0 comments

WHY DON’T I GET A REPLY?

Here is a heart felt letter received from a member about how they feel when they do not get a response from their first contact with someone. Why don’t I get a reply? Please read it and take note

It had taken a while for me to get into the right head space to step into the world of dating, times have changed, people’s lifestyles have increased at such a pace and meeting across a crowded room seemed to be a thing of the past.

My friend had encouraged me to join Friends1st as she had found her now husband through them 3 years ago  and she had said all the members are committed to finding someone.

I decided that I would start initiating contact. I approached my message to my potential new partner with happiness, I was smiling again.  He was a 45 year old farmer who liked horses and dogs; he wanted a wife and homemaker, tick, tick, tick.

We wanted the same things.  I wrote a friendly opening, asked questions and even included a copy of my profile so he didn’t need to search it out.  This had to work, didn’t it?

I waited for my return message. Each time I switched on my iPad and opened my inbox with excitement, a certain amount of nerves and with a feeling of anticipation running through me, to then find there was nothing!

I was devastated.

That is only how I can describe my feelings. The excitement turning to a black cloud looming over me.  I don’t think I’m unattractive or uninteresting.  The fact that he couldn’t even reply just made me feel low and rejected.  What was wrong with my opening email?  Didn’t I put enough into my message or was it too much? I had asked open questions, I’d tried not to sound like an interviewer.

Why didn’t I get a response?  Surely it would be only polite to reply?  It had taken a lot of courage to for me to make the first contact.” 

It is apparent to all of us here at Friends first that she is not the only member who feels this way and who has had the very same thing happen to them.  We encourage all members to take heed and make sure that they always respond even if it is to politely say that at this point in time you do not feel that you wish to start a communication. This is not just an exclusive problem to Friendsfirst but in dating in general. 

The benefit of being an offline agency is our membership team talk to our members. Manners don’t cost a penny and please don’t ‘cop out’ and say you have met someone when you haven’t; a common thing we deduce from membership feedback. As Christians we uphold Christian values, one of which is honesty – reply, be honest and if you are not interested in pursuing contact, then say so! An honest reply is better than no reply.

Remember your actions and even lack of actions can have a significant effect on others. Be a blessing not a curse.