Why am I separated and not divorced
WHY AM I SEPARATED AND NOT DIVORCED?
By Sarah Rodger
Quite a lot of our members are reluctant to contact other members who are separated and not yet divorced perhaps assuming that the person is the ‘guilty party’ or still ‘living with’ their partner. Why I am separated and not divorced is the experience of someone I know which paints a different story.
Sharon married in September on beautiful sunny day. Her husband David, like her, was 23.
Unfortunately less than one year later she became very ill and had to have emergency exploratory surgery followed by a second operation less than one week later. The operations left her in horrific pain and paralysed.
The pain, she said, was all consuming. The only way she could describe it, at the time,was like being stuck in a combine harvester and every fibre of her body being mutilated whilst she was still alive to feel it. Sharon said she could not even turn her self over in bed and every time she was held standing up at the side of her bed to have her blood pressure taken she passed out.
Sharon said in addition to the pain and paralysis there was a strange fizzing sensation from her feet up to her stomach. The horror of the pain in particular, she said, was extreme and every single second of every single day. The Vicar did go to see her in hospital but she was so full of despair she was unable to talk to him.
After a long spell in hospital she returned back home to her parents which enabled her husband to go to work.
Sharon’s recovery was slow and her husband began to visit her less and less until finally he decided that they had nothing in common anymore. Sharon was upset but said that it was dwarfed by the enormity of what she had to recover from and she was relieved that he had decided to make a fresh start.
Eventually Sharon said the pain diminished by a level or two but her one shoulder was still giving her a high level of relentless pain and at times she found it so frustrating that she used to hit her shoulder to change the pain.
Years on Sharon is still separated and has never seen her husband since. If she were to re marry then she says she would track him down so that she could get divorced.
There are all sorts of reasons why someone might be separated and unless you find out the whole story, anything you think is only your speculation and you could be so wrong. So don’t judge someone until you know their whole story.