The Art of Seductive Flirting – Part 1
The Art of Seductive Flirting – Part 1
Peter Spalton was one of our speakers at our 2018 Dating Academy and presented a wonderful session on the Art of Seductive Flirting. He then gave us some accompanying notes – from which this blog has been written. It will be in two parts – watch out for Part 2.
Use every part of your body to flirt. Most people, particularly men, tend to concentrate on what they say. But the non-verbal elements (your body language and your voice) are the things that mater most.
However flirting is different for everyone. So make sure you watch their reaction and be aware that you can go further in a bar than you can at work. Flirt-light at work – limit it to your eyes, your smile and your attitude. Remember flirting should be fun, so both parties should enjoy it.
Men and women flirt differently and have different flirting signals. Women have an astonishing 52 flirting signals which they use to attract a man, to show him that they’re interested and to excite him. Reading this as a woman you may well recognise some of these as things you do naturally – others you may not use but may want to try using. Some of them you may be surprised to find you do naturally and were not even aware they were flirting signals. If you are reading this as a man, then be on the look out for these signals which indicate that a woman may well be flirting with you.
Female Flirting Signals
Posture to Attract Attention
The Wiggly Walk is the sexy walk where she swings her hips to grab a man’s attention.
The Teapot Stance is where she stands with a hand on one hip and swings the hip outwards.
The Shoe Dangle is usually done when she’s sitting on a bar stool. She crosses her legs on her thighs and dangles one of her shoes from her toes.
Eyes to Connect
The Flirting Triangle is when she looks at your eyes, down to your mouth and back to your eyes. She will usually do this when you are talking.
The Lingering Look sends the signal that she can’t take her eyes of you. She uses this when you’re talking to a small group of people. And when you stop speaking she will continue to look at you for a few seconds longer before she switches her eyes to the person who’s taken over the conversation.
The Look Away and Back is when she makes eye contact with you and then looks away for a few seconds before she looks back to make eye contact again and smiles.
The Sexy Look Across the Room is a form of the look away and back, but it’s across a crowded room. She will make eye contact with you and smile. You will watch as she looks slowly around the room before she comes back to you and makes eye contact again with another big smile. She can do this from over thirty feet away and the message is that you are the most interesting man in the room.
The Sideways Glance. She will use this when she’s sitting to the side of you, but not next to you. She will glance at you quickly and then back so you catch the movement out of the corner of your eye. She will then do it again with a bigger movement. and as you turn to look at her, your eyes will meet. She will smile or give you a Peek-a-Boo or Diana look. She can use the Sideways Glance up to fifteen feet away.
The Look Back is when she half turns to look back at you with her head tilted down slightly. This is the famous old movie signal where they look back as they ride of into the sunset. It is a classic way to pull the heart strings. She might combine the Glance Back with a wink or she could lower her head and give you the Diana Look as well.
The Diana Look is when she tilts her head down and looks at you from under her eyelids. She may combine it with a blink to flash her long eyelashes at you. She often uses the Diana Look when she’s taking a sip of her drink – see Glass Kiss.
The Eyebrow Flash is probably self explanatory. It’s the term we use to describe how she quickly raises both her eyebrows at you for less than a second. She might raise only one, in that case it’s quite a cheeky signal and has sexual connotations in Japan.
Peek-a-Boo is when she looks as you demurely behind something. It could be a menu or a magazine. In the 19th century it would have been a fan. It’s a playful peek-a-boo game that women often use to tease men.
A Wink. Need I say any more except that sometimes she winks quite quickly so you may not notice it.
The Mouth Gaze. This is a very sexual signal where she stares at your mouth for about ten seconds when you’re talking. It will probably melt you.
The Come Hither Stare is when you both make direct eye contact across the room and she looks you up and down. She will finish at your eyes with a smile, she might even combine it with an eyebrow flash or a wink. You’d be a fool to ignore this one.
Head Movements to Show Interest
The Hair Flick is a form of display where she either flicks her hair back with her hand or tosses it back with her head.
Hair Play or Twiddle is where she plays with her hair and subconsciously sends the message that this is what you could be doing.
Side Head Tilt is when she angles her head to one side in response to things that you are saying. It’s a sign of interest.
The Over Shoulder Glance is a form of the Look Back. But in this case she doesn’t turn her body towards you and it’s usually a quick glance from a distance away.
The Neck Flash is a sign that she trusts you enough to expose a soft and tender part of her body by tilting her head up and to one side.
Mouth Play to Tease
The Finger Suck is when she briefly puts the tip of her finger to her lips.
The Straw Suck is where she uses her lips to play with a straw, spoon or fork.
The Lip Lick is when she licks her lips.
The Tongue Flick is when she very briefly pokes out the tip of her tongue.
Glass Kiss. When she takes a sip of her drink she might appear to kiss the rim of the glass. Many women combine this signal with the Diana Look.
Apply Lipstick. Putting on or touching up her lipstick in public is a very obvious sexual teasing signal.
Fingers to Tempt
Candle Play. This is a subconscious signal where she dreamily stares at the fame whilst running her fingers up and down the candle..
Fondle Glass. This is a very sexual signal where she looks into your eyes whilst she runs her fingers up and down the stem of her glass.
Pendant Play draws your eyes down to her breasts. If she’s not wearing a pendant or necklace she might touch the top of her breast bone with her fingertips.
Necklace Tug is similar but she straightens or tugs at her necklace rather than playing with it.
Button Play is also the same. She plays with one of the top buttons on her blouse.
Shoulder Rub is when she runs her shoulder with the palm of her hand. It’s a signal caressing her.
Fingers to Face. She touches her face with her fingers, usually on her cheek or mouth to draw your eyes to her lips.
Wrist Flash is when she flashes the inside of her wrist towards you. It sends the same submissive message as the Neck Flash.
Handbag Cuddle. Rather than play with a glass or candle she might place her handbag on her knees to cuddle and fondle it instead.
Self Caress. The is self explanatory and is when she caresses her face, arm or legs.
Shoulder Expose. This is where the strap of her dress or top falls of her shoulders and she uses her fingers to seductively put it back.
Underarm Flash. She does this by raising her arm or by puting her hand behind her head. Sometimes she does it with both arms and she’s showing you a private part of her body.
Hands to Bond
Women touch with their fingers to say they like you. The more they touch you. the more they like you. However they will also groom you or touch your knee as a sexual signal.
- Fingers to Your Upper Arm.
- Fingers to Small of Your Back.
- Fingers to Your Shoulder Blade.
- Hand to Your Forearm.
- Hand on Your Shoulder.
Grooming is a sexual signal where she brushes an imaginary piece of fluff from your shoulder, arm or lapel.
Hand to Knee is also a sexual signal.
Legs to Entice
The High Leg Cross is where she crosses her legs at her thigh. If she likes you, her knee will be towards you so you can effectively see the inside of her thigh.
Kneesie is where she pushes her thigh against yours so you can feel the warmth of her leg.
Space to Build Desire
Leaning In is just as it says. She leans her upper body towards you when she’s sitting.
Invading is where she moves closer and encroaches on your personal space.
The Breast Thrust is where she pushes her breasts towards you with her head back. It is a different posture from Leaning In.
Voice & Words to Bewitch
Innuendo. She may hint or obliquely suggest sexual things without actually saying what she means.
Sexy Voice. She lowers her voice and speaks slower so she sounds deep and sexy.