The A – Z of Dating – F
The A to Z of Christian Dating – F is for ……
Over the many years of running friends1st I have heard hundreds of people question whether they should even consider joining a dating agency because surely, as a Christian, God will bring someone into their lives won’t he? This laissez faire attitude towards finding a partner bemuses me because the people who have this way of thinking, are not applying that same attitude to everything else in their lives – like finding somewhere to live, getting a job, getting education or further education, learning a new skill, putting food on the table or having clothes to wear. No, in all these things, the same people display a remarkable activity – taking on the responsibility to make things happen and get things done.
It seems that it is just in the arena of ‘love’ that some people think it’s OK to leave it entirely to God and to do nothing themselves. I don’t know why this is but I personally think it is bad thinking – and that is not just because I run a dating agency!
There are some key Bible verses that encourage me in this view. Take for example Matthew 7: 7 or Proverbs 18:22 (see below). In Matthew 7:7 there are three active verbs. Ask, Seek, Knock. You have to DO all 3 things. Applied to finding a partner then this verse is clear: Be active – Go out and seek – and you will find. And it’s the same in Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds….” This is someone who has gone out actively to FIND a partner.
So what do you have to do to FIND a partner? Do you find something lost by just hoping it will turn up? No – you go looking. You search your house, car, office (or wherever). You are active in your searching and if it is a really important thing, you will keep searching (however inconvenient this is to your life) until you find it!
So how do you go about FINDING your partner?
You actively seek them and this might involve a whole range of activities including all or any of the following:
-Joining a social or activity club
-Volunteering at local events
-Joining a dating agency
-Advertising in a local /national paper
-Asking your friends to introduce you to single people they know
-Visiting other churches
-Going to Christian events/conferences/holidays
-Accepting invitations from family or friends
-Being open to having conversations with people at work/church/when out shopping etc
-Broadening your horizons by learning a new skill
Any or all of these things, done proactively and in a way that actively puts you in touch with other people, regularly and on an ongoing basis WILL lead to opportunities to meet new people – and in the process of doing that, finding a partner.
The Bible is clear – seek and you will find. It doesn’t say it will necessarily be easy, and that there won’t be ups and downs on the way – but it does say Do it and you will get a result.
So you have probably got it now.
F is for FIND. A proactive verb, an instruction. Go out and FIND!
It amazes me quite how many people I talk to who are doing very little seeking/finding. When really questioned about how proactive they are being – and are continuing to be over a period of time – about finding someone, what comes out is they are doing (7 times out of 10) NOT very much.
And there is always a host of great reasons why they aren’t doing very much – like being too busy, too scared, too lazy, too uncertain, too hurt or whatever. But whatever the reason, the reality is they are doing very little. They aren’t really seeking. And they aren’t proactively Finding either.
If this resonates with you, then plan to go out and be proactive. Go out and find yourself a partner. Don’t sit around hoping God will bring one into your life. Sit down today and write out an action plan for the next week, month, year of the things you are going to actually DO to enable you to find your partner.
You’ll be amazed at how much thinking you need to do to get your plan on paper. But once it’s there, you can start acting on it and then I promise you things will begin to change in your life.
Ask and it will be given to you
Seek and you will find
Knock and the door will be opened to you
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord