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The A-Z of Christian Dating – G

Finding your perfect Christian partner is hard work

The A – Z of Christian Dating – G

In this A-Z of Christian dating – G IS FOR GIRD YOUR LOINS

Dating let alone looking for a Christian partner and dating is hard work for the majority of people.  You might be the lucky exception but don’t expect it to be that way.  Expect it to be hard and prepare accordingly. Like most things in life that are worth working for, finding a new Christian partner takes time and effort – and for this reason you need to Gird your loins before you set out on this journey.

Gird your loins literally means ‘prepare and strengthen oneself for future actions, typically ones that may be difficult’. Synonyms include prepare, get ready, make ready, gear up, nerve, steel, galvanise, brace, strengthen, bolster and buttress.The phrase ‘Gird your loins’  comes from the Bible and relates to men and women pulling up the flowing tunics they wore, tucking them into their girdle (belt) or tying them in a knot to keep them off the ground, thereby allowing them freedom of movement. It was part of their preparation for hard work or battle.

I reckon many people starting out on their search for a Christian partner think it’s all going to be lovely. Lots of meeting potential princes or princesses – meeting in lovely places for a drink or a meal, the flutter of your heart as you set eyes on The one – and the rest of the gumff that Disney portrays so well in it’s fairy tales.

And yes you may get a bit of that one day (certainly Penny and Jason did but that’s quite rare I’d say). Talk to anyone who has done ‘dating’ for a while and you will hear a different story.

As we delve deeper in to the A-Z of Christian dating – G , You will probably hear stories of meeting people who are not at all what had been expected (and generally perceived to a disappointment as a result), dates that have been awkward or embarrassing, and lots of emotional turmoil along the way.

Now I’m certainly not trying to put you off here.

But in the same way as you don’t get a beautiful garden without lots of hard boring digging and planting (and many a plant that dies along the way) or you don’t get a university degree without the hard slog of studying and exams (and probably some disappointing essay marks), neither does finding a Christian partner and having a happy successful marriage come without the ups and downs of dating.

Know that you have to put work in. That work comes in two sorts.

First there is work on yourself.

Are you the best person you can be? Are you the kind of person you want to meet? For example, if you want to meet someone who is kind, are you kind? Do you have baggage that might be holding you back? Do you need to work on that so that you can move forward healthily into the future not dragging past hurts and disappointments into a new relationship. Is your life free enough to enable you to date, or are you so ‘busy’ that there really isn’t time to date, let alone to let anyone else into your life?

Then there is the work of dating itself.

Finding out about people, contacting people, staying in contact, making the effort to meet, continuing to meet them, putting yourself in the right places to meet people and all that comes with ‘good’ dating practice.

None of this is necessarily easy. But if you set out on your dating journey prepared and knowledgeable about what the journey may have in store for you, then when you come across the hard bits, the disappointments and frustrations, you will be in a much better position to put them down to experience and move on – rather than giving up. Because that’s what so many people do. They give up when it feels like ‘there is no-one suitable out there’ or they feel they’ve been let down too many times to make it worth going on.

But it is worth it! And I say that as someone who found my perfect Christian partner and got married very late, after many disappointments and broken dreams.

So as the title suggest in this section of the A-Z of Christian dating – G – Gird your loins. Prepare yourself emotionally; Prepare to take the emotion out of the whole process! Find a good friend to support you and to whom you can be accountable to (for your actions or lack of them, and your behaviour).

Know you are going to have to work at this project and that it won’t necessarily be easy.

And finally keep hold of your goal at all times because that is an important motivator and keeps you focused and committed to the hard work that you will be putting in.

 

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