How to be the one







Roy Sheppard, the popular relationship coach contacted Katharine recently to see if friendsfirst would be interested in his new groundbreaking book, ‘ How to Be The One ’. We read it and are now very happy to promote it as a really helpful book for all our members and followers. The premise of this excellent book is that if you want to find the right partner, you first have to be the right partner.

In How To Be The One, Roy explores how most people mistakenly create an ideal of the perfect person in their heads — without examining whether they themselves actually possess the qualities that they are looking for. Packed with life-changing wisdom, insights and practical tips to help you become your best self, How To Be The One helps you evaluate what you bring to a relationship and better understand how to connect with your ideal partner. The book also introduces the groundbreaking concept of your Emotional Core — four key qualities that provide the emotional stability, depth, and strength to make you irresistible. Starting today.

How irresistible do you want to be?

Which of these qualities are the most appealing to you? Someone who is:

  • kind,
  • considerate,
  • loving,
  • committed,
  • honest,
  • reliable,
  • compassionate,
  • happy,
  • interesting,
  • optimistic,
  • GSOH,
  • intelligent and
  • physically attractive?

But how many of these same qualities do you possess?

If you are single, why would  anyone choose to stop their own search once they’ve met you? Especially in today’s dating world where almost everyone is now only a date way from being the “ex” in “n-ex-t”.

Married, single or in a relationship, learn how to improve your Emotional Fitness by strengthening your Emotional Core: the four qualities that provide you with the emotional stability, depth and strength to make you as irresistible to a partner as they are to you.

Adopt and absorb life-changing wisdom, insights and practical ideas to improve your current relationship or prepare yourself for The One you have yet to meet.

About the author

Roy Sheppard is a relationship consultant and coach who has advised tens of thousands on a variety of relationship related topics. A former BBC reporter and journalist in the UK, Roy is a regular guest contributor on many British and American radio stations. He has also written extensively for national and regional newspapers and magazines in Great Britain. An experienced conference speaker, for many years he was a guest lecturer at one of the UK’s leading business schools, Cranfield School of Management’s full-time MBA. He is also renowned as a world class conference moderator working repeatedly for a range of global corporations. Roy has written extensively on various aspects of relationships; personal as well as business. He is the author of Meet Greet & Prosper and Rapid Result Referrals.

You can buy this book from friends1st at a discounted price of £9.50 Plus P&P

Buy this Life-Changing New Book TODAY and receive a FREE copy of the Reminders Pocket Book (while stocks last)

Format: Published book

Top Tips to BE ‘The One’


Extracted from the hundreds of daily Stop and Start Reminders in How to Be The One and included within the FREE Reminders Pocket Book


  • Stop comparing yourself with anybody else. Especially don’t compare anyone’s looks, size or success. Ever. They are who they are, you are who you are.
  • Stop taking your bad moods out on any innocent bystanders, especially those who are closest to you.
  • Refuse point blank to be a victim for anything.
  • Stop seeing people who put you down. That includes people you may currently think of as friends. Gradually phase them out of your life and replace them with positive, upbeat and kinder people.
  • Stop fantasising about what your life should be. It is what it is. And that’s OK.
  • Every moment you think about any ‘ex’s’ and what could have been is another moment stolen from your life.
  • Don’t pretend. Be.


  • Decide to make it a priority in your life to like yourself more. Notice more of what’s good about yourself. Remind yourself of this as often as you can. Do it every day.
  • Start noticing the good in people.
  • If you find yourself thinking fondly of someone you haven’t spoken to in a while, don’t keep it to yourself. Get in touch and tell them why you have done so.
  • Happiness is a choice, and is free to anyone who embraces it. So embrace it.
  • Happy people recognise ‘enough’. Enough is their friend. They don’t always need ‘more’.
  • Demonstrate how much you care. Prove it, don’t just say it.
  • See more in others than they see in themselves.
  • Be fully aware of ‘now’. Stop and become aware of this right now while you are reading these words on this page. This moment is your life.
  • It’s your choice: good mood or bad mood.

In the press

How to Be The One has been very well received and there’s been a lot of press about it. You’ll find links below to what others have been saying about it.

Readers Feedback

“I’ve read a lot of relationship books over the years. This one is different. I learned LOADS, especially about my emotional fitness. Thank you.”

“I have been in a relationship for three years. He’s a lovely guy but I found myself feeling more and more irritated by him. I read this book and got a shock. I realised it was me not him. He’s The One. I now want to make sure I’m The One for him.”

“I LOVE the Daily Stop and Start Reminders.”

“…made me think about what I want from a long term partner and how I can be a more considerate person to her too. All I have to do now is meet her.”

“…very impressed by the amount of research. It’s a fabulous read and well though out and structured… it certainly takes the reader on a voyage of self discovery…for me it is your personal stories I particularly enjoyed”.

“Your staff always seem polite and helpful. Please accept my renewal’

(Ruth, Care assistant)
Ed testimonial test

“Dear friendsfirst team, I enrolled with you for a year’s membership and have chatted to a very nice gentleman, however I have since had contact with another gentleman on a regular basis […]

(Henrietta, Parish Priest)

“Thanks for the great service you are providing with friendsfirst.”

(Charles, Ecologist)

How to be the One

Serious about relationships - then this book is for you!How to be the one book

I joined friendsfirst a couple of years ago as I was not meeting single women of my age bracket. I was not sceptical of joining as dating agencies are now […]


“It’s great to be back on your books again. I am now sifting through all the girls you have sent me. If I can’t find a winner in amongst that […]

(Geoff – Sales assistant)

“Please find enclosed my cheque for the renewal of my membership. I have been in contact with some very interesting people during my membership and I look forward to another […]

( Kathleen, Psychotherapist)

Dear Katherine, Thank you for your encouragement. In matters of my sociality, I lack confidence and therefore drive to get things done, and having some time ago looked at dating […]

(Adrian 66 London)

How to be the One

Serious about relationships - then this book is for you!How to be the one book

Talk to us today on 0121 405 0675 Monday - Friday 9:00am - 5:30pm