Make 2020 Different!
What will 2020 bring you?
It’s January 2020 and another brand new year is upon us. It’s a good time to take stock – look back to what 2019 held – what you planned to make happen and what did happen. Did you do all that you wanted to do? Did you develop yourself in any way? Did you learn any new skills? Did you meet any of your Christian dating goals you had set for yourself?
I say this because I know in my own life that the more detailed my plans are, the more I achieve – whether that’s in work or in my personal life and if I don’t set any goals I generally get nowhere. It’s a harsh but true reality.
My husband had a big birthday this year – and we’ve planned a number of ways of celebrating it. None of these things would be happening without significant planning that took place in 2019. It’s the same for your dating journey. Yes you may meet someone by chance – it does happen for a small minority – but it’s rare – and actually when you talk to people who have got married (and we had lots of those I’m happy to say in 2019) invariably you hear that quite a lot of effort of one sort or another and the setting (and achievement) of Christian dating goals went into the process.
It’s a bit like the saying “It took me 20 years to become an overnight success”. People who suddenly meet someone have probably been doing all sorts of things in the background for a while – that them enable them to be in the right place at the right time with the right attitudes and mindsets which all converge to meeting ‘the one’.
So my best advice for you for 2020 is to put this magazine down as soon as you’ve finished this article – and spend a good 30 minutes – perhaps longer – mapping out how 2020 is going to look in terms of your dating journey and your Christian dating goals. Make a plan for each month – it should include the events you are going to attend (or host even), the numbers of dates you’re going to go on (and therefore the numbers of people you are going to have to contact to get those dates), the skills you are going to improve/learn and the place you want to be in by December 2020. If you put you want to be married by December 2020, you might not hit that goal (that would be a very short timescale – not impossible but certainly unusual) that I can assure you, you’ll be a lot further ahead than everyone else you says to themselves “I’ll just see how it goes”. Once you have done this you will have a very clear map of your Christian dating goals to work toward.
My second message for you at the beginning of this year is ‘Don’t judge’. We all do it all the time but being aware you are doing it, and using that awareness to affect your actions as a result can make all the difference.
We had a letter from one of our female members recently which summed up what I am always saying on this subject too. Here is what she wrote:
The secular world judges people by the way they look and most definitely by the colour of their skin.
When I joined Friends First I was expecting different. Sadly, this was not the case. People judge you by your profile and the colour of your skin. In doing so, there could be many missed opportunities of finding that someone special.
I would say take a look within before judging others by their profile. Be the person who you want to meet. If you are miserable and judgemental you will attract the same type of person.
If you are too busy to phone people on the profiles given to you then you are too busy for a relationship and you will attract the same type of person!
Do not say to people I will phone you back and have no intention of contacting them. You will attract the same type of person who do not stick to their word.
Unfortunately, when you are in your 50s and 60s the dating pool gets smaller so judging people on race, distance and profile will make it less likely to find someone special. The same people who judge are the ones praying to God and asking God for a husband or wife. God may turn around and say I sent them to you via a profile but you judged that person and throw the profile in the bin. The cycle continues.
With all this said, I challenge Friends First members in the New Year 2020 to contact all the people on their profiles regardless of race, attraction and distance. Have a conversation with them. You never know you might be pleasantly surprised.
Thank you God for Friends First.
I think this puts the point across so well – but I know many people reading it will not change their behaviour and will continue to judge people – which is fine because they will be the ones missing out.
If you want 2020 to be different from 2019 and all the years before it, you have to do different things. And take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way (and there will be plenty of them if you have eyes to see).
None of this is easy but we can certainly help you not only with setting out your Christian dating goals plan but in what to put in it, bringing it about and being successful. You know where we are if you want this support and help.
We truly want 2020 to be a fabulous year for you and it is our prayer that it will be so.
Do your part too in making it happen.