The importance of Learning
I have just returned from a riding lesson. I have been riding for 12 years now and still consider myself a novice. Where horses are concerned there is always more to learn (and if William Fox Pitt – one of the UK’s top riders – is still having lessons and learning, then I know I should be too!). But what is interesting though is that my instructor says the same things over and over again to me. It is not that I am not listening – it is just that not everything she says goes in. There is just so much to do and think about and I am lucky if my brain can take on board one thing, let alone three. So today we were jumping two jumps on a circle, so important learning is still ongoing.
Like she always does, my instructor tells me to look at the second jump before I have jumped the first jump. Do I do it? Heck no. The first jump is where my focus is and I have got to concentrate on that (or so I think!) Needless to say, making the second jump is very difficult because by the time we land we are way off the circle!
So next time round I decide that, against my better judgement, I will do as instructed and look at the second jump as I am coming to the first. Well! Lo and behold everything goes smoothly – in fact I sail around the circle again and again jumping both jumps really easily. Now why on earth didn’t I do that the first time? It was so easy when I did what I was instructed to do. And it struck me then that it is just like dating. We advise members to do certain things, take for example not judging profiles, but nine times out of ten they don’t listen and they keep on looking at the profiles in the same habitual way that they always have. done. And you know what, they get the same results
(i.e. thinking there there is no-one to contact , causing a resulting feeling that membership isn’t going anywhere and was possibly a waste of time and resources). We chatted about this (not least because I was so astounded by the difference) and my instructor told
me it is hard to break habits and put your trust in a new way of doing things.
But when a member ‘gets’ our advice or trusts us enough to take it (like me and my riding instructor), then all sorts of things begin to
change and the results (they get) are very different!
You can’t really ‘get’ this by reading it. You have to experience it – to feel it – and then once you do it is quite transformational!
I guess that is why our Dating Academy gets the results it does because the people on it trust the advice we give them, are prepared to try new ways of doing things – and are then rewarded greatly when, having tried something new – or done something in a different way – they get a completely new result.
My riding instructor also told me that it is not just experience that counts. You can sit on a horse for 10,000 hours (or go on 100 dates) but if you aren’t learning (and adjusting your behaviour in order to do things in a different way) and being taught how to do things better,
then all the experience in the world is not going to get you to where you want to be (in her case winning the events she goes to) and in your case finding the partner you desire.
It is not just experience that counts
Again that is why the Dating Academy is so successful because we put teaching and learning together with experience. It is a
powerful formula, and one I would advise you to heed and act on.
Remember it is said that doing the same thing in the same way but expecting a different result is a sign of madness!