Do Christian dating sites work?
Do Christian dating sites work?
This is an interesting question which needs a bit more unpacking to fully answer.
When you ask “Do they work?” we need to understand what you mean by ‘work’?
Obviously they work from a technical point of view – they function but we presume this is not what you actually mean.
More likely you mean: “Are Christian Dating sites places where you can successfully meet someone who has the same purposes in mind as you?”
We need to clarify what those purposes are.
These could be, and may well be, as varied as the people on these sites including:
- Seeking to connect with Christians for friendship only
- Looking to simply connect with other Christians (male or female) over the internet without the intention of meeting in person
- Looking for someone who has Christian values (but doesn’t necessarily practice as a Christian)
- Looking for someone of the same gender or different gender as you for something more than friendship
- Looking for a pen friend to write to without the intention of meeting in person
- Looking for a form of entertainment to wile away the hours alone.
- Looking for a way to bolster self esteem by finding new friends on line
- Looking to meet people to share your faith with as you don’t connect on that deeper level with anyone in your social circle
- Looking to find someone for a friendship on an in person basis
- Looking to find someone for a physical relationship to satisfy your physical needs
- Looking to find someone for a friendship on an in person basis that would lead to a life long relationship
- and the list could go on an on
It’s only when you’ve determined what your purposes are – that we can then go forward to determine whether Christian Dating sites work.
Let’s assume that you mean – “Do Christian dating sites work in terms of helping Christians get together for real face to face relationships?”
Again it’s not an easy question to give a straight answer to, because we next need to look at which sites you are thinking of.
There are many sites on the internet that appear in a Google search for Christian dating sites.
Just because they appear in a Google search does not necessarily mean they are Christian dating sites.
Google serves up results based on a host of very complicated algorithms. Many of the results are based on words found on a websites page. Dating sites are keen to attract customers – all sorts of customers – of which Christians are just one sub set (in the same way vegans would be one subset – or Countryside lovers).
In fact it’s an interesting experiment to do on Google – search for Christian dating sites and then search for vegan dating sites and some of the same sites will come up. Now I’m not saying that you can’t be Christian and vegan – of course you can – but the point I’m trying to make is that some sites – like eharmony will do they can to attract people of every type and interest. They want as many clients as possible and of every type of person and niche. It’s important you know this before you join a site that has come up in a search for Christian dating sites.
So the point I’m getting to here is that if you look at a site like eharmony and ask whether it, as a Christian Dating site, works, then the answer might be Yes or NO depending on how lucky you are to find the other Christians on the site having waded through all the other people on it who won’t be Christians.
Perhaps then a better place to start would be to ask: “Is x site really a Christian site?”
But again we need to ask what do we mean by a ‘Christian’ site? Do you mean a site run by Christians specifically and only for Christians, or do you mean a site where Christians can be found (as well as other people who are not Christians)?
Sites that ‘look’ Christian, but in fact are like eharmony – i.e. they cater for all sorts of people – and not exclusively Christians – are by their very nature likely to be less successful for Christians because you are statistically less likely to meet other Christians purely due to the numbers of non Christians that will be on that site.
Then there are other sites with very Christian sounding names – that work as part of a network of sites. These sites are called white label sites – where a mass of sites have a different looking front door (website look and feel) but in fact all share the same database of members. It’s much harder with these sites to discover whether they are white label sites or not, apart from joining them and discovering that the people on them aren’t the sort of Christians you’d expect to meet, or aren’t Christian at all. In fact if you were to ask the question of a fellow member: What site are you on or did you join? (which might seem a very strange question) you’d be surprised to find the answers are often not the same as the site you joined! That is white label sites for you.
Now again, there’s nothing to say these sites won’t work but again like the example we gave above, you may have to wade through many thousands of profiles to identify those that actually are of people who share your Christian faith.
Finally there are sites that are run by Christians and are specifically aiming and hoping to attract real genuine Christians. Let’s assume you have done your research and you have found one of those (be warned they are few and far between!)
Do they work? Well the answer is again Yes and No. One of the key problems with on line sites is the inability to vet members to find out if they are genuine Christians or not. Some people join Christian sites – not because they are Christians – but because they think they will meet a better or nicer type of person. Again that may or may not be what you are looking for.
Finally let’s address the question again, assuming now that you mean “Do Christian dating sites work in terms of helping Christians get together for real face to face relationships?”
Most sites that are ‘successful’ in introducing people to each other will share testimonies of couples that have got married and it will be clear from their testimonies that the people involved are Christians. If this is your criteria of the site ‘working’ then seeing these testimonials will be a good indication for you that yes this site does work. However even now do bear in mind that marriage might not be every one of the sites criteria of success if they have joined to simply make new friends.
In conclusion then, if I was asking “Do Christian dating sites work?” first of all I would be clear in my own mind of what ‘work’ means to me.
What is it exactly you are looking for?
Once you know this, then do your research and find out if the site you are looking at is actually Christian.
If you are looking for a long term real relationship with a fellow Christian, then you want to find a site that:
- a) is surely Christian through and through and only has Christians on it’s books (otherwise you’ll be wasting a lot of your time, researching and possibly contacting and being in contact with people who aren’t Christians) and
- b) has got lots of testimonials of people who have got married through the site – which will be an indication to you that how the site/agency operates is conducive to people meeting in real life, getting to know each other and getting married.
It wasn’t a short answer – but then it wasn’t an easy question. But at the end of the day we hope this article has helped. If you would like to talk to us about our agency, please don’t hesitate to contact us on 0121 405 0675