Written by Following the recent article in our members newsletter, Lock away the past and unlock the future, we have added a book to our bookshop (in both relationships and divorce categories) which has been recommended by a member. Necessary Endings by Dr Henry Cloud is “brilliant and relevant -the idea is that new things can’t begin until the old is let go of”. To buy it or browse our bookshop just click here.
Never Too Far Away
Andy has just called us to let us know that he has found someone special with friendsfirst. He felt he just had to let us know as they had both complained to us that they hadn’t received the details of anyone local to them. Indeed Andy had even put on his profile that he would prefer to meet someone local and was adamant that he wouldn’t consider contacting anyone further afield. But when Caroline spoke to Dawn about her profiles she encouraged her to email Andy, despite her misgivings about the distance between them and what his profile said. Caroline and Andy are very happy with the outcome of that e mail and Dawn will be raising a glass to them this weekend. We have asked them to write their story, as further encouragement for all our members.
10 Steps to Changing Your Life
Step 4: Surround yourself with a great team
Having help and support – the right team – is one of the most crucial steps in realising your dream. You may not wish to share your hopes and dreams and the goals you have set yourself to achieve them with friends and family. The staff at friendsfirst are here to help, encourage and support you. Let us help you to find someone special.
A FRIENDSFIRST GUIDE…
We’re getting some great feedback about our short guide to..HOW TO BECOME MORE ATTRACTIVE TO OTHERS AND HAVE MORE MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS – “Good sound advice not only for relationships but also getting on with people generally.” To get your copy just click here to complete our Singles Survey and give us your thoughts on being single. (http://surveys.questionpro.com/akira/TakeSurvey?id=2509688).
Sharing
When we look at our lives and think about the friendships we have made over the years, those that we have been closest to are those with whom we have shared the most. We have shared our experiences, our work, our hospitality, our interests, hobbies and skills, our time, our hopes and dreams, our upsets and disappointments – our journey in life. To enjoy close, lasting friendships we have to be prepared to make ourselves vulnerable, to share ourselves and to care about others. We may have been hurt in the past and have closed all the doors to our hearts as a result. Open those doors wide open. Lean on Him and He will give you the strength to put past hurts behind you and share new friendships.
10 Steps to Changing Your Life
Step 3 -Write down your SMART goals
Write your Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely aims and review them frequently. ‘Many people fail in life, not for lack of ability or brains or even courage, but simply because they have never organised their energies around a goal.’ (Elbert Hubbard, American philanthropist). So if you are looking for someone special in your life do something specific- join friendsfirst and aim to get in touch with people within a time frame you know you can keep to- set yourself realistic targets and stick to them. Don’t get sidetracked or let doubt creep in – keep aiming for that goal.
Are you making the most of your membership? (from Dawn)
This weekend I’ve been reading a new book sent to us by an author to review and a note he has written touched me. It reminded me of how I felt about James when we first started to date, which was before I became a Christian. When friends asked me about him I could only say- ‘He shines’, which seemed quite a strange thing to say at the time. The author says ‘I personally do not consider looks to be an important attribute. Real beauty is on the inside. It is the God given inner light that really makes a person shine.’ Are you missing out because you are judging people by their photo or even worse not contacting people who haven’t got a photo on their profile? What have you got to lose by contacting people, meeting them as friends and giving them the chance to shine?
Inner Peace
“May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.” …”
— Mother Teresa
Failure
My ballet teacher “taught me that if you really worked hard, you’d succeed, and that everything had to come from the inside.”
Audrey Hepburn
Audrey was a successful actress, mother and humanitarian who perfected the art of gracious living. Yet she never expected to become an actress, nor was she prepared for it. She trained as a ballet dancer, studying seriously from the age of 12. But she never fulfilled her dream to dance at Covent Garden. She and her mother had no money and lived in one room in London for eight years. She took a job in a musical to earn some money and then a small movie part. When the opportunity came for a lead part for an unknown actress she didn’t think she was ready, but overcame her underlying feelings of insecurity and inferiority by being decisive and adopting a forceful and concentrated drive. In all she did, she worked very hard.
Sometimes fear of failure can cause us to be indecisive (what if we make the wrong decision) or a perfectionist (it’s never quite right). Proverbs 24:16 says, “A righteous man may fall seven times, but he gets up again.” God gives us his Holy Spirit and comes to live in us by his presence. He doesn’t come to live in people who are perfect or those who have been trying really hard to be good. God knows our hearts and comes to live inside those whose hearts have been changed- those who have invited him to come and make a difference in their life. Grace is God’s perfect antidote to our imperfections and failures. We can try and fail and pick up and start again because God accepts us as we are.
(inspired by and adapted from How to be Lovely by Melissa Hellstern and Diamond Geezers by Anthony Delaney)
Failure
“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm”
Sir Winston Churchill
Everyone fails, we are all imperfect. Even successful people fail – perhaps even more so because they try things more often and have to learn from their failures. But fear of failure can make us give up trying, be indecisive, become a workaholic or a perfectionist. Proverbs 24:16 says, “A righteous man may fall seven times, but he gets up again.” Failure is an event, not a person and you haven’t failed unless you give up. God gives us his Holy Spirit and comes to live in us by his presence. He doesn’t come to live in people who are perfect or those who have been trying really hard to be good. God knows our hearts and comes to live inside those whose hearts have been changed- those who have invited him to come and make a difference in their life. Grace is God’s perfect antidote to our imperfections and failures. We can try and fail and pick up and start again because God accepts us as we are.
( adapted by friendsfirst from Diamond Geezers, by Anthony Delaney)