Fear of rejection!

Lettting others down gently if you don’t want to persue a friendship with them.

Some people fear contacting others because they are worried about having to ‘let them down’ or ‘reject them’ if they don’t think they want to pursue a friendship with them. But if you think carefully about it, this way of thinking is very shoddy, and at worst can lead to many missed opportunities.

When you join a friendship or dating organisation, the whole point is to meet lots and lots of different people. It’s only in meeting lots of different people that you are going to substantially increase your chances of finding and meeting someone special.

Of course not everyone you meet is going to be compatible with you – some will be and some won’t – the first thing to realize is ‘That’s OK and completely normal’. If you meet someone and find they aren’t compatible with you for any number of reasons, then firstly that is a result – you’ve found something out that you couldn’t possibly have known for sure, had you not met them!

Secondly it’s quite OK to say to them after the meeting: “I enjoyed meeting you but don’t want to take a friendship with you any further” or “Thanks for meeting me – I don’t want to waste your time by meeting again”.

The first time you say this to someone, it may feel a little difficult. But when you’ve said it a couple of times to different people you’ll find that saying it gets easier and easier. You can then move on to meet someone else knowing that you have treated the other person with respect and courtesy. Actually when you say this to someone you will find that although they may be disappointed (if they liked you) they will also be grateful to you, a) because you’ve been honest and b) because now they know where they stand and they can now move on and meet someone else.

It really is simple and easy and you’ll soon find it so when you’ve done it a few times.

If you don’t follow this advice, you will be the loser as you probably won’t want to contact many people for fear of letting them down. When this happens the whole point of joining a friendship organisation is lost – it becomes a waste of money and a great disappointment to you. Now that is a shame and really quite unnecessary.

So go for it. Contact and meet lots of people – you’ll be amazed at what happens.

How to be the One

Serious about relationships - then this book is for you!

“Please accept my resignation as I hope to remarry this summer. Thank you for all your help and your excellent services. My sincere thanks to you and your colleagues for […]

(Max, Retired Director of Finance)

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(Fiona, Office Assistant)

How to be the One

Serious about relationships - then this book is for you!