10 Tips for a safe and successful first date

by Roy Barker

1. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE SPOKEN ON THE TELEPHONE FIRST.

When you use internet sites to date, make sure that you talk on the telephone before meeting the date. If you feel uncomfortable, be sure to get their number and call using your cell phone or use your local telephone blocking code to hide your identity.

2.GO PUBLIC

Always meet in a public place, so that if anything goes pear-shaped, than you have the security of other people being present. However, to meet someone for the first time in your home or their’s just piles the pressure on. It is easier to retreat from a public place, than from a house. Let someone else know how long you are out for and how long you intend to be. That way your location can be monitored. That means not moving on to another place, without informing someone, even if you have to go to the toilet and discreetly use a mobile phone.

3. LIMIT YOUR ALCOHOL INTAKE

Control the amount of alcohol that you drink, so that you are sure you are in control. This probably applies equally for men and women, but for different reasons.

Alcohol is not a stimulant, it is a depressant. It slows down your response time which means that you will not react in your usuall way to unexpected situations.

It may mean that your alarm bell will not ring, when it should. A big ‘no no’ for women is that it lowers your inhibitions and you can be laying yourself open to unnecessary sexual pressure. Alcohol also makes people feel more confidant and extrovertive, but for men you don’t necessarily want to look like a ‘dipso’.

4.REMAIN IN CONTROL

Your personal security is important on a first date. Being in control of the situation is imperative. Use your common sense, and trust your intincts, they may well be incorrect, but better to be safe than sorry.

5.LISTEN CAREFULLY TO POTENTIAL INCONSISTENCIES

Look for inconsistent answers regarding your dates background background, status, profession, etc. This may indicate they are not who they say they are, or even worse, married! If you feel you want to bale out, don’t pretend. Being straight to the point makes a clearer impression than fudged excuses.

6.STAY ANONYMOUS FOR AWHILE

Most online dating services use a double-blind system to allow members to exchange correspondence between each other. This allows members to communicate, but without knowing each other’s email addresses or telephone numbers. Going ahead cautiously may stop you from meeting that creep.

7.REMAIN REALISTIC

Prince (or Princess) Charming may very well indeed be waiting for you online, but you should also set your expectations just a little bit lower. Most of your dates will go nowhere. Don’t believe that everyone who shows interest is worth you investing your time. You do not have to settle for second best.

8.DON’T TRY TO MIRROR ANOTHERS PACE.

If your date does not respect the pace you wish to progress at, then you should not fast track your pace to keep up with them. Proceed Slowly and Listen to Your Instincts

9. WATCH OUT FOR WARNING SIGNS

Most people are on their best behaviour in the early stages of dating. How you are treated on the first few dates, will be a yard stick for future dates. If you are not shown respect on the first few dates, then it is not going to happen later. If your date is rude towards other people such as waiters, then he will be rude to you sooner or later.

10.DON’T TALK ABOUT THINGS YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

You will end up with egg on your face if you start talking about something you know absolutely ‘zilch’ about. If you do not know about something be honest and say that you don’t know. No one has an interest in everything, just admit it and move the conversation on to something light, or funny.

How to be the One

Serious about relationships - then this book is for you!

“I wanted to drop you a line and say ‘thank you’ to you and the team at friendsfirst for bringing Phil and I together. I was speaking with Phil tonight and […]

(Jenny, Teacher)

“Another reason for writing to you is to let you know that I, and another member, John, have recently got engaged. I was a member for a year from 2006 […]

(Jan, Translator)

“We thought you’d like to see a photograph of two happy customers! We were married in a civil ceremony at Redditch on 28th August 2004. Kevin was the first person […]

(Kevin and Anne)

“Good news I got married last February. Although we didn’t meet directly through friendsfirst it got me in the frame of mood about meeting people. Thank you for your help”

(James Froy, Company Director )

How to be the One

Serious about relationships - then this book is for you!