Should we hold out for Mr/Mrs Perfect

[Michael]

I was with a friend the other day and we began discussing the Christian dating scene. "It seems like the majority of Christian singles are holding out for something," my friend said. "Like the guys are waiting for a pastor's daughter/cheerleader that just popped out of Bible college, and girls are looking for...I don't know, a guy who just returned from a four-year missions trip to Africa."

I smiled at that analysis. I'm sure each single could generate his or her own similar "fantasy." And true, this notion that something better (or cuter or funnier) may be just around the corner, has the tendency to paralyze us in the "choosing" process.

It does seem to be the case that we are in the midst of a massive shift in marriage trends: women waiting longer than ever to marry, all the while holding out for their soul mate -- "the one." When a guy asks a woman out, if the sparks of attraction aren't hot from the start, she turns him down, reasoning, sure, I want to get married someday, but I'm not about to ... settle.

But this kind of "holding out" may be hurting us in the end. It creates this weird vibe. People are always evaluating each other like, 'Are you it? Will you meet the criteria? " That, plus the fear of settling down may drive us to pass by perfectly good options.

I think that if we hold out for perfection, or have a long list of must-haves, it's possible we're overlooking some good people who are already in ours lives.

Choosing to marry someone — whomever they are — inevitably involves compromise (on their part, and yours). It's about making a decision. Something we do every time we pick one thing over another. In most areas, it's called being decisive. For some reason we've made indecision noble when it comes to dating.

And that's the crux of this issue. We've spiritualized "holding out." And yet is there even one biblical character who passed up perfectly good marriage options in the name of not settling? No.

What do others think about this issue?

[JUNE]

I know someone who held a torch for almost 5 years for someone she had met on a Christian holiday. She thought that the Lord had taught her that she would her future husband would be converted to Christianity from a rich background and this gentlemen fixed the bill! However, she held on to this for almost 5 years and it was a pure fantasy - true, the gentleman in question did hint about them going away together on holiday but it never materialised. Eventually she got the message when he told her that he was not the marrying kind and she then quickly married someone she had known for 16 years who attended the same church as her!

[shunamite woman]

i maybe wrong. but i truly believe that there is no such thing as mr or mrs perfect. anyone is good enough for somebody.it only takes comprise, the willingness to want to be with the other person. we are all gods creation, created in his image. we are all beautiful in his sight. remember we are his flowers in a garden. the problem today is that people are too much in the world of competion and living in a dream. we have to be real.
like micheal said , most people want what they call the best, it has to be a pastor's son or daughter, one of the elders, the decon or some big person.

dont miss out on your man or woman waiting for a sign orr perhaps waiting for the perfect one. how do you know if that the very brother you are looking down on is the one god has made for you. as soon as you are together the blessings are then poured on you.

trust the lord and he will do the rest.