We are often asked how successful friendsfirst is?
If you judge success by the number of marriages we've had then we are very successful. And if you add in the numbers of people making new friends (which is what some people join for) then it's even better
For more details of couples stories
> click here
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Enhance your social skills!
Would you like to be better at meeting people, feel more confident and do it more often? We've teamed up with The Dating Doctor giving you preferential rates on a whole range of his services.
For more details.
> click here
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Enquirers Newsletter May 2010
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friends1st's 22nd Newsletter
Change your mindset and change your life
May, 2010 - Issue 22
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 Welcome to friends1st's 22nd newsletter and especially if you are a new subscriber.
This newsletter has an important article about your mindset and how it can affect your life. It's appropriate for relationships but for lots of other areas of life too; it also encourages you to make a difference in the lives of your other single friends.
As always we also hope this newsletter and the articles in it will give you useful information.
With best wishes,
Katharine Gray - Director, and the team at friends1st
P.S Don't forget - we are here to help you - if you want to chat about being single and how we can help, just give us a call on 0121 427 1286. |
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friends1st's News
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Singles holiday in the Isle of Wight. 26th June - 3rd July 2010
Incredible value - from £285 pp
At last spring is here and thoughts are turning to the summer and holidays. If you're looking for something that is excellent value, and comes highly recommended, then may I point you towards our summer holiday in the Isle of Wight. Although it's almost full already (with equal numbers of men to women) there are a few places left so if you are looking to sort yourself out for this summer then take a look at our website or call Andrew Gardner on 01983 852160 for more details.
Correction
In our last newsletter we informed you that friendsfirst had acquired the dating and
introduction side of Network Christians. Our error of wording has led to some confusion regarding the services of Network Christians. Therefore, we would like to clarify that friendsfirst has acquired the off line introduction service named 'Toucando' that was previously run by Network Christians Ltd. friendsfirst has not acquired either Network Christians on-line service or their events and holiday service. Both their website service plus events and holidays continue to run successfully under their 'Network Christians' brand. Please accept our apologies for any confusion that we have caused. It was entirely unintentional and both friendsfirst and Network Christians will continue to work together to serve UK Christians in our different ways.
We are pleased to recommend and promote Network Christians on our website as the leading provider of Christian events and holidays for singles. Please click here to find out more about their popular events.
Another marriage
We have another new marriage story on our website - it's a powerful one because I think many people will find something in it that resonates with them (and it also ties in really nicely with our article below 'Change your mindset'). It's the story of Heather and Dave (who got married on the same day as another one of our couples also called Heather and Dave!) and I do recommend you read it in full by clicking here.
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Change your mindset and change your life
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It was Henry Ford who once said, "If you believe you can do a thing, or you believe you can't, you're probably right". This is what Brian Tracy refers to in his best selling book Maximum Achievement as the 'Law of Belief'. He says, "Whatever you believe, with feeling, becomes your reality; you always act in a manner consistent with your beliefs."
In other words if you don't believe you can succeed in a particular endeavour, you are pretty much defeated before you begin.
The 'Law of Belief' applies to all areas of our life, including our current personal relationships situation.
If you believe there is someone special out there for you, but it's just a matter of finding them, and believe YOU are someone special for someone else, then the chances are you're not going to be dating for long. But if you have low self esteem and think that no-one would want you, or that you'll never find the person you really want, then you are probably acting completely in line with your beliefs and probably finding yourself staying single for years and years.
It really doesn't matter whether or not you are good looking, sociable, rich or poor, or how deeply Christian you are. We all know people in each of these circumstances - some are single, some are not. The only difference to their relationship status is their attitude to it.
But can it be that simple? Can simply thinking differently about yourself, and challenging your attitudes and beliefs about your situation really change your mindset and change the actual reality you experience?
Yes it really can - that's why sports men and women spend as much time as they do on mental preparation as well as physical training: they understand that it is vital to have an unshakable confidence and belief in their abilities if they are truly to get the most out of themselves and to deliver the ultimate performance.
So have a good look at your attitudes and beliefs about yourself. Are they helping or hindering you? And if the latter, then the most effective way to change them permanently is to support the change you seek by taking small daily actions which support that new belief. So for example, think about your best attribute and how this attribute can help others, or how attractive it would be to someone who doesn't have it. Then next time you're meeting someone new, remember this attribute and act accordingly. It will give you confidence and that will affect your interactions positively. In this way you create actual evidential experience on which you can begin to base the new belief. Bit by bit you will change, and once your mindset has changed, you'll be amazed at how your actions lead to change.
This is one way of interpreting the verse in Romans 12:2 'Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.'
For concrete proof of how applying the truth of this article to your life can make a difference, click here to read a relevant bit of feedback that we received recently.
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21 Great ideas for successful human relationships
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We came across this paper on the internet recently, written by the Rev. Bill McGinnis. They are thought provoking points and well worth considering in your dealings with others.
1.LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR AS YOURSELF
Be as interested in the other person's happiness and well-being as you are in your own.
This is "the Law of Love," God's most important commandment for all mankind. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, "You shall love your neighbour as yourself." (Galatians 5:14)
And who is our neighbour? Every other person is our neighbour. But sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we still don't like the other person very much, or we still feel anger or resentment. What can we do in cases like this?
2. FORGIVE THE OTHER PERSON
The most troublesome harmful emotion is the emotion of anger. You can neutralise anger by making a direct conscious decision to forgive the other person for whatever he may have done to cause you to feel anger toward him ("as you forgive, so you will be forgiven" See Matthew 6:14-15).
3. TREAT THE OTHER PERSON THE WAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED
"Do as you would be done by." This the "the Golden Rule", our most important guideline for dealing with other people. "So whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them; for this is the law and the prophets." (Matthew 7:12) This is the most important rule in human relationships. You can apply this rule to almost any situation, and you will not be far wrong.
For the other 18 points on Bill's list, click here to read them in full.
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| You can make a difference! |
We received an email recently from one of our members who told us about moving to a new area and being very fortunate to find that her new church had a group for single people.
Some big churches do have groups for singles but many do not - but if you are single, have you thought about setting up a group yourself? We'd really like to encourage you to do so.
Taking the initiative to do something like this doesn't have to take masses of time. It probably would be a lot of fun and importantly it could make a huge difference to a lot of people's lives. And of course if you include everyone who is single, - i.e those who've never married, and those who have but who are no longer married, you'll probably find that even if your church membership is very small, you soon have a group that is greatly valued by its members. It might end up including people of very different ages - and this is a positive thing.
The group could help single people come together for support and fun times together. There are so many things that can be done, and doing things together is a great way to make new friends and make a difference in other people's lives.
If you've read this and it's sparked an interest in you, and you'd like to discuss how to go about it, then do get in touch. friendsfirst started in this way and we'd love to help you make a difference for others (let alone yourself) too.
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I hope you've enjoyed reading this newsletter and have found something useful in it. If we can be of service to you in any way, or you've decided it's now time to get a bit more proactive in finding yourself a partner, then please don't hesitate to contact us. We look forward to hearing from you.
With best wishes
Katharine Gray friendsfirst Director
0121 427 1286
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