friendsfirst Press Releases

A survey of Christian divorcees clearly shows that attitudes about divorce and remarriage are far removed from the disapproving views of the Church.

New research indicates that, despite the churches’ official view of divorce and remarriage, Christian divorcees are feeling more upbeat than ever before about their futures. However it’s also clear that moving on is still difficult.

Although the Church has historically disapproved of divorce, the number of divorces amongst Christians couples is not far off the UK national average. The churches’ view has caused much heartache for Christian individuals either seeking to end their marriages by divorce or those divorced and seeking remarriage.

friendsfirst, the UK’s largest offline Christian friendship and dating agency, has conducted one of the biggest surveys of divorced and separated Christians and the results make enlightening reading.

Of 938 participants, the great majority (88.5%) clearly stated that they are keen and emotionally ready to be in another relationship, with more than half (58%) the respondents feeling that their past marriage is no hindrance to their finding a new relationship. A significant majority of respondents (68%) found their friends and family supportive to the idea of their moving on.

Katharine Gray, friendsfirst Director, commented, “Divorcees who approach us for help in finding another soulmate don’t seem to have a theological problem with divorce or remarriage.  Many of them feel that the churches’ view is rather out of date on this issue, and that the church should be a lot more supportive to divorced people looking to move on.”

Despite many upbeat responses, the survey also highlighted some significant problems for this group.

First 1 in 10 people said their families were very against the idea of them moving on,  and almost a third (32%) thought they would not have the backing of their church for remarriage should it happen. Those that didn’t want a new relationship or weren’t ready for it yet, had clearly not got over the hurt their relationship/divorce had caused and were very anxious about being hurt again.  Furthermore 62% knew they had issues in their past marriage which might well affect their ability to develop a new relationship.

Despite this, fewer than half of the respondents were interested in actively seeking help to move on or resolve past hurts or to get help with meeting new people. Nearly a third of respondents (29.9%) were just hoping for the best.

Over half of the respondents (53%) said they found it very difficult to meet new people. In fact, when questioned how many new people they’d met in the past year, 61% of respondents had met fewer than 5 new people of the opposite sex and, of these 5, many were not free to start a new relationship! Only a fifth of respondents had or would join a friendship/dating agency and a quarter were just ‘hoping for the best’ and leaving things to chance for their future.

With the rise of online dating agencies, which focus on photographs of potential dates, it would appear that Christians have a wiser view of their future with just under half of respondents saying when they meet people personality is the most important criteria. Only a fifth (19%) said physical appearance is most important.

Katharine Gray, friendsfirst Director, commented “This research clearly shows that the views of the church haven’t affected whether Christians are getting divorced or whether they look for another relationship. More importantly however is that is it clear that Christians, like all other people who’ve been divorced, need a lot of support and  help in moving on, and it’s unlikely that they will get this from the Church.”

Ends.