Sheila's story....

Way back around the year 2000 I came across an add. in a Christian magazine about friendsfirst but although I was interested I didn’t take it any further. This was partly due to my concerns about meeting someone in this way and input from friends, whose opinions, followed much the same line. The other factor was my life style. Since my husbands death in 1994 I had developed a life that included living abroad for long periods of time. It seemed silly to try so hard to meet someone, only to leave shortly afterwards. Over the next several years I often seriously considered contacting them but never actually did.

 In January 2005, due to a family tragedy, I made a quick and unexpected return to this country. I decided to stay for a time to give support to the family member. However due to the shock of it all, lack of work and other circumstances I found myself in a very low way. I decided to join some social groups, to get me out and about. I found these helpful and enjoyed meeting new friends. As time went on though, thoughts about contacting friendsfirst became stronger and stronger.

One day I just decided to ‘take the bull by the horns’ and phone them, which led me to take the next big step and join. When the profiles came I felt very nervous, after making a few calls which led nowhere I phoned ‘Brian’ that he had a interest in walking and lived a couple of hours away was what caught my eye . When I gave my name he seemed to go quiet, assuming he had met someone and wasn’t particularly interested, I made the call a short one. Just before we hung up he told me he would call me back later but I didn’t expect him to. However, a couple of days later, he did call me and apologized for not talking to me properly last time and explained why. He had arranged to meet another Sheila and was taken aback when someone else of the same name called. That meeting didn’t go very well and about a week later I received another call from him, this time suggesting that we meet. From that first meeting with Brian I was touched by his calm and quiet nature. However I made it clear, that for now, I only wanted to be friends and couldn’t promise anything more. I was pleased by his response, saying he agreed, and really wanted to get to know me better.

Over the coming weeks we met several times, our mutual love of walking took us into Scotland and the Lake District, and drew us together. The soothing effect he had on me seemed to draw me to him. Despite my concerns about the differences between us, like him being single with no children and me a widow with grown up children, I found myself falling in love with him. The way I worked through my worries about being in a new relationship is a story in itself  (see below), but I did and as time passed I realized that we were right for each other and meant to be together.

How Brian met and found Sheila

I first read about friendsfirst in our church magazine and as I read the brief description thought it may be worth finding out more about it. After a few weeks I eventually posted an enquiry and received more details a few days later. Remembering the saying “nothing ventured nothing gained” I decided to join. I was pleasantly surprised to have couple of telephone calls from members before the first list of profiles arrived. After a few weeks I arranged to meet some one.

Over the next few months I met a few different members traveling to distant counties sometimes. I thought I would like to get to know one or two a little better but this did not happen.

During my second year as a member I would usually look through the profile list for members living within about a hundred miles radius of my home. One month’s profiles included Sheila’s details. Reading through the text, I noticed we both had an interest in walking, both disliked smoking and her home town was less than a hundred miles away. However I didn’t think I fitted the type of personality that she appeared to hope to meet. With this thought in mind I decided not to try to contact her at that time.

Some time later I received a telephone call from Sheila, I did not immediately realize she was the same person I had read of.  I had been in contact with another member named Sheila so I suppose I may have sounded a bit surprised. After a short conversation I said I would be contact her again. During the next call we arranged to meet.

I felt the day we met went quite well and asked if I could see her again soon, after some thought she agreed. We met a few more times and enjoyed walks in the wonderful countryside near her home. I felt at ease talking and listening to her and soon found I was looking forward to each weekend that we met.

I began to find, that although I was quite different to the person I thought Sheila was looking for; we seemed to get on well. We were able to see each other most weekends and as the weeks went by I felt I had met the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

We got engaged and were married within a year of first meeting. At the wedding were members of both families all delighted and wishing us every happiness. We are so grateful to God for bringing us together.

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Sheila had a remarkable journey herself of moving on from her previous marriage and dealing with a complex range of issues as a result of being a widow. If you would like to read more about the issues she faced (which are common to many widows and widowers) please click here.

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