We are often asked how successful friendsfirst is?
If you judge success by the number of marriages we've had then we are very successful. And if you add in the numbers of people making new friends (which is what some people join for) then it's even better
For more details of couples stories
> click here
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Enhance your social skills!
Would you like to be better at meeting people, feel more confident and do it more often? We've teamed up with The Dating Doctor giving you preferential rates on a whole range of his services.
For more details.
> click here
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Enquirers Newsletter June 2006
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| friendsfirst's 7th Newsletter |
16th June 2006 - Issue 7  |
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| Dear friends, |
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Hello and Welcome to friendsfirst's 7th newsletter. (Many apologies if you have received this once already last month - we've had some problems with our mailing system and think many of our letters didn't get through the first time!)
In case you've missed the previous issues, we are a Christian organisation that provides a very personalised service supporting single Christians to meet other single Christians for friendship and relationships.
If you are single and deep down would like someone special in your life then read on for more information.
If you are married or in a relationship, please do forward this newsletter on to any single friends you have. Even if they haven't explicitly acknowledged it to you, they are probably looking for someone special too and getting our newsletter may be their first step to finding someone!
We trust you will enjoy this newsletter,
With best wishes for the summer,
Katharine Gray - Director, and the team at friendsfirst
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| friendsfirst news |
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| A very happy prize winner
Last winter we wrote to a mass of people asking them to fill in a questionaire about events they'd be interested in. There was a prize offered and Barbara H from the Wirral was our lucky winner. Needless to say she was absolutely overjoyed with the hamper we sent her recently - so much so that she emailed us, phoned us and sent us a card of thanks. Now that's what we call grateful! There'll be more opportunities to receive more gifts from us soon - so watch this space!
Charity quiz night
We had a very successful quiz night on 3rd April at Bennets Bar in Birmingham where lots of people came to have their common knowledge stretched and meet new people. One lady there told us she'd really enjoyed it - the best aspects being the company and the social aspects. And of course we were pleased to raise some money for our charity the Foundation for Conductive Education. We're running our next one on 6th July- details below and we are sure this is going to be equally as popular and fun.
Marriage within our staff
Wayne our Membership Manager is getting married in August. It is an interesting story as he is English and his fiancée is from Zimbabwe. They met 5 years ago in an office they were both working in and they became engaged two and a half years ago. Wayne has visited Zimbabwe 3 times now and has found it an interesting experience to learn about and spend time living in a different culture. Last December they went through a traditional Zimbabwean marriage ceremony which involves paying a bride price for the bride's hand in marriage. They are now looking forward to tying the knot; they will have a wedding ceremony in Zimbabwe and a marriage blessing back in England. We are all very excited for them and wish them both all the best.
friendsfirst marriages
Over 80 people have found their lifetime partner through us so far - and that's only the ones we know about! We think there might be many more - and certainly know there'll be lots more to come.
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| A Divine Appointment |
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| We've just received this wonderful story from two of our members who met and married through friendsfirst . If you're needing some encouragement about your situation, please read on. What the story shows is that whatever your situation, there is hope around the corner. And of course every change in life's direction comes with the smallest and sometimes the bravest step.
Sheila’s husband died tragically 2 years ago. Her children lived away and at 58 she realised she had many years ahead of her. She heard of friendsfirst and decided, rather impulsively, to join.
Her membership didn’t go too well at first and she was very discouraged. However on receiving her second correspondence from us she noticed that one man on the list came from Sheffield which was her original home town. Sadly on reading his profile she thought he was looking for ‘Mrs Perfect’, and as that wasn’t her, she decided not to do anything. However after a while she decided that the Sheffield connection was too strong so she decided to text this man. It was to be a critical move in her life.
Keith had been widowed and first joined friendsfirst in 2000. Sadly he didn’t feel like he’d ‘clicked’ with any of the people who he was in contact with and he decided not to renew. Later on a relationship started with an old friend but that didn’t go anywhere. He was constantly praying for God’s direction and shortly after this we offered him a free 6 months membership again and he took it up. Was this an answer to his prayer?
Sheila and Keith started texting and soon called each other. Their first conversation lasted over 2 hours as they realised they knew loads of people in common. They met about a month later and despite initial nervousness they got on very well and found they shared many common interests, such as the love of classical music, cricket and the countryside. They had a similar sense of humour and had a shared faith in Jesus. By August they were engaged just 8 months after first getting in touch! Keith commented to us:- ‘It was definitely a divine ‘appointment’ in which friendsfirst played a very important role. We are most grateful to them.’ And Sheila said ‘We are so thankful to the Lord for bringing us together to share our love and companionship and we trust He will use us in His service as a couple in the future. Our thanks go to friendsfirst too for making it possible, in a very gentle way, for the service they give in bringing people together.’
If you would like to read their story in more detail and see their photograph please click here. There are lots more stories like this on our website - if you'd like to read more of them please cli ck here. You never know - your story could the next.
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| Events this summer |
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| We have two events coming up this summer which are going to be a great opportunity to meet new people and have a fun time.
The first is a quiz night we're holding on 6th July in the centre of Birmingham which is going to be a great opportunity to meet new people and have a real laugh at the same time. Tickets cost £8 for members and £10 for non members and include not only the quiz but drinks and nibbles too. Tickets are selling fast so don't delay to get yours - Call us on 0121 427 1286 to book your place.
The second is a Charity Fundraising 'Treasure Hunt with a Twist' (in conjunction with our charity - Foundation for Conductive Education (FCE)) on 20th August between 12pm - 5pm at Cannon Hill Park in Birmingham. It's a completely new and unique event set to become legendary across Birmingham. Imagine donning a sumo suit, dancing till you drop and battling your way across shark infested waters..... all during on Summer afternoon in the park! 'Treasure with a Twist' is a treasure hunt full of clues and once in a lifetime activities for teams of four, all set in the beautiful leafy surroundings of the park. Any one can enter and as the event will be done in teams of four so you can either come on your own and we'll match you up with similar aged people - a great way to meet new people - or come with friends, flatmates, family or work colleagues - it'll be a great team building event and definitely the highlight of your summer. And you'll be working towards a fantastic prize for the winning team. For more details ring us on 0121 427 1286 or click here.
And then of course there's the summer holiday specifically for single people in September in the Isle of Wight. This was detailed in our last newsletter so if you missed it or want further details, please click here.
For more details click here
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| Points to Ponder - Dating and Remarriage after Divorce |
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In our last issue we posed a number of questions around the difficult subject of divorce. It's unlikely that any Christian would want to promote divorce per se and it's obvious that it's a difficult issue for the church. Furthermore, remarriage of divorcees is also hotly debated with strong feelings and emotions pertaining to all sides of the discussion. It's easy to take a view on this subject if you haven't been affected by it. But as soon as we meet someone who is, or we are ourselves, we see the issues are complex and not as clear cut for Christians as perhaps a few well known verses of Scripture would imply. Whether we like it or not it's a very real issue in our society today and one we should give some thought and prayer to.
A number of people responded to our request for their views on the subject and here are some of them. (The names have been changed.)
Anne writes
‘As a Christian myself I tried for years to avoid divorce. My Catholic upbringing meant that I was categorically against divorce, and also I have known, in a very personal way, of the lasting damage to children, when parents divorce. However, in my marriage I suffered verbal abuse intermittently over many years, from the husband I loved; as time went by, the ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ mood swings became apparent. I stayed in the marriage for over 20 years, praying constantly, hoping we could work things out, and trying to support our 3 children through the stormy rides.
After 24 years I broke; deep down my emotions could take no more of ‘living on a volcano’ as I describe it. His rages interacted with my depressions.
In Christian terms - though I can't quote chapter and verse – ‘A man should not divorce his wife except in the case of adultery'. If one re-words this, to read ‘a married person should not divorce their partner, except in the case of adultery’ then this applies, in my case. Adultery came on top of the years enduring rages. If, as Jesus said, He came to bring Life in all its fullness, then I believe that I, as a child of God, I should reclaim my individuality, my talents, all that makes me the person I was born to be. And this, in the service of God and truth.’
'Are we frightened of confronting the reality of divorce' asks Joan?
'I am going through the divorce process unwillingly and struggle with feelings of guilt and shame both for myself, my Christian faith, my family and the church community. (We were married for over 20 years and worked in many churches during that time) There seems to be so much prejudice around amongst Christians. Perhaps it is just that people don't know what to say or do. I am a good mother to 3 lovely children and do my utmost to give them a stable, happy Christian home. It seems too that some married Christians view you as an oddity or threat, perhaps marriage breakdown is catching? I also think that marriage breakdown/divorce is a worse bereavement than death because the person who died DIDN'T CHOOSE TO LEAVE YOU. The partner who is living down the road with his new partner and child DID (He by the way is a practicing Christian).'
And a very different perspective from Lynne who comes from an Orthodox church background.
'I am in the process of being divorced myself - sadly after 40 years of marriage! My 65-year-old husband has, over the last 8 years or so, had a succession of Latvian girlfriends, where he goes on business. I have tried to put up with this, but it has finally come to the crunch and he has demanded an end to our marriage, which is devastating for me and our children.
I belong to the Eastern Orthodox Church, which accepts divorce for the cause of adultery (see Matt. 5:32). This is not a modern concession but has been part of our teaching and church life since the early centuries. This is useful for Western Christians to know, since many seem to think divorce is a purely modern innovation for Christians.
Our Church grants a church divorce, and allows remarriage in church - with certain penitential prayers replacing the joyful ones. This should be after a period of 3 years' spiritual retraining. I should point out that our wedding ceremony is very different from the familiar Western one. We do not make vows (no 'till death us do part'). We are crowned a king and queen of a new colony of the Kingdom, and the life-long commitment of marriage is expressed in a circular procession. But we do acknowledge that our human endeavours may fall short of what they should be.
In the Early Church adultery, together with murder and apostasy, was one of the three sins punishable by automatic excommunication until the person repented and was reconciled with the Church. This is still the principle behind our thinking, and the fact that we allow divorce is, we understand, God's concession to our fallen life. My church has been very supportive throughout my last unhappy years, and will continue to support me fully during and after my divorce.'
Quiet a bit to ponder on there! We hope these persepctives give you food for thought - or help you realise you are not alone if you are in a similar situation. We'd love to hear your views on this subject too or the views of your friends! Email them to us at editors@friends1st.co.uk |
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| Summer Sale! |
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| To mark this new look newsletter we're offering a 15% discount on membership fees until 31st July. To take advantage of this all you have to do is to mark the top of your application form with 'Newsletter offer' and then deduct 15% from your total fee due. Share this offer with friends and family if you think they might be interested. We look forward to hearing from you. |
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That's all for now. I hope you have enjoyed reading this months newsletter. We would love to hear what you think of it and of course if you have any suggestions or requests for the next edition please email us at editors@friends1st.co.uk
Katharine Gray friendsfirst
email: editors@friends1st.co.uk phone: 0121 427 1286 web: http://www.friends1st.co.uk |
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